Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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