ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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