You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
