its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you will always have a special place in my vag
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
