What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
