puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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