I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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