I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
