She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
