literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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