drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
