Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Swine flu. Run for my life!
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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