i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
