I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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