We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
