Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
