I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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