Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
