Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
