Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
