Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
