thus making me awesome and them whores
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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