I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
