Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
