I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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