i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
