I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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