how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
And then he peed in my hair
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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