Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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