Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
