Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
