What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
