Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
