Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
