i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
