I'm really into asian looking animals
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
