imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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