I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
