I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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