He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
