Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
