You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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