Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
do herpes really smell.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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