So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
