He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
