put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
