So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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