So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
