I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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