You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
