i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
